Tuesday, October 12, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day Two

[ Quick update!  I gave a lot of thought to my hoarding habits, and I decided to do some mean cleaning around here.  I sorted out that giant pile of clothing and came out with a relatively modest stash of clothing to keep, and eight big bags of clothing that I don't wear often enough to keep.  It feels pretty good to be in the process of removing so much excess.  I'm trying to not be sad that some of my pretty things are going away, but when they aren't being worn, I shouldn't be keeping them. ]

Day Two: Something you love about yourself.
I love that I've become a very honest person.  I don't speak of honesty in referring to truths or lies told to others, but I feel that I've become much more bold and realistic in the way that I face the world.

Up until about a year ago, I wore masks.  I did what I could to become the person that other people wanted me to be.  My friendships were healthy enough, but my relationships were not.  I was always trying to fill a role that wasn't mine to play.  I don't claim to be an expert at advice, but can I say?  Relationships aren't always easy.  But when you're trying to play the part and it feels like you're trying to shove a square peg into a round hole... no matter how hard you try... it's not the right fit.  I pushed the person that I am aside to try to be the person someone else wanted me to be for many years.

I'm a square peg, though.  That's what I am.  And instead of trying to change that, I'm learning to embrace it.  I've found it to be a very wonderful, freeing experience.  For the first time in my life, I don't feel pressed to be anything but myself, and I'm happier than I've ever been.

I'm a realist.  I believe firmly in logic and reason, consider situations with my brain before my heart, and have my feet firmly planted on the ground.  I may sometimes even be brutally honest.  No costumes or masks, no longer blindly or pathetically following the agenda of anyone else.  I'm finally where I belong, and the person I'm meant to be.  Finally, I'm me. 

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